Young adult dating

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2016.09.06 00:41 TheFeanorianKing Teen culture from the 60s to 2011.

Discussion of any YA (Young Adult) related thing dating from 1961 to 2011 is acceptable. This includes books (Babysitter's Club,Sweet Dreams,Sweet Valley,vampire novels,teen romances),music,movies, and TV shows intended for teenage audiences.

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2020.09.30 12:28 Epsilon_One I am in a long distance relationship, ask me anything.

So far we've been together for about 9 months. Some backround info...

-We were just friends for about 4 years before dating

-I am male and she is female

-No we are not kids, we are both young adults in our 20s

Ask us anything, nothing is off limits.
submitted by Epsilon_One to AMA [link] [comments]

2020.09.30 12:22 HowManyDaysLeft I'm sorry my love. I'm running out of time. I don’t think I'll see Christmas

Hi my love
It been the best of times, its been the worst of times.
No matter what, no matter how hard things have been, always know how much I love you.
With all my heart. With everything I had, at all times.
Its not been long enough, it never would feel long enough of course, our love, our time, would never feel enough. I know I would always want more. Greedy as that sounds.
But it feels grossly unfair whilst our children are so young, 6 years in, to what should be a lifetime, or an acceptable length. What that length is I don't know. Till the children are adults? That seems fair, in a life that is not fair.
I'm so sorry. I never knew this was around the corner.
I've fought so hard, for almost two years now, you know how hard I've fought, how many specialists I see.
You, silently, have fought along side me. Quietly, not complaining, taking over the care of the children. Working quietly. Stressing hard. At least you know how hard I've tried to survive, tried, I think, beyond most peoples levels. Trying beyond whatever limits I thought I had.
My love, this admission is different.
My severe level of immunosuppression has finally shown the results I never wanted to have to tell you.
Ct changes. Completely different from 3 months ago.
Ground glass opacity. In multiple areas.
Words I know you have near heard of.
Words that I now know, you will never forget.
If means that something is infiltrating my lungs. Given what we know is in there, aspergillis nigers and fumigate, and now pseudomonas c.
We have to seriously think about all possibilities. And we will, together.
But if you are reading this, then the possibilities have gone. I'm sorry my love. I'm not here anymore. I can't tell you I love you. Wrap my smaller body around you at night, hoping somehow that your fierce life-force will seep through my skin.
We never got the life we wanted. But with my careful planning, you may at least be able to live financially comfortable and not need to sweat the "smaller things". Those smaller things, which aren't actually small. You know what I mean.
Be careful with money, but not too careful. Meeting the psychological needs now for the kids amd you are far better than waiting.
Know always that I'd rather be there. Living the life we wanted. Together. All the years with young kids that are endlessly hard, joyful, exhausting, stressful, but so full of love and laughter, tears and triumph.
Try to enjoy some of this. Watch the girls. I feel they will heal first..... at least appear to. They will do better than Xxx. But they will need help. Let xxxcc and xxx and xxx guide you.
Even though I can't be there, know how much I love you. Know how much I love all the kids, completely equally. They are 3 different kids, each has different strengths, different needs. I love their differences. Their individuality.
Irregardless I love you, and all of them. With all I have With every breath
All of them, as the precious, wanted individuals they are, and the beautiful potential lying within.
Please tell them I never wanted to leave them. I wanted to watch them take their first steps, tie their shoes, start school, finish high school, fall in love, help talk through a broken heart, the first of many is so painful. Drive a car. Go to university.
Dream, love, explore, adventure. And do so with confidence, emotional intelligence, knowing we are there, any time of day with open arms and open hearts. A kitchen with wine, coffee, tea. But most of all, time. Time to talk through that broken heart, that university score that has now meant their options have changed, time help navigate that first (hopefully minor) car accident.
XXX, growing strong, trying to be so brave. He will need you. He will act out. You will need to be as patient as you can. Find him supports. Ask his current team for more support. XXX will know who can help. Try keep up his physio, he needs distraction and health. He needs to realise that somehow life moves on, it limps, painfully. However don't push the physical. Its the psychological that will require the most gentle, tender hands. Focus on just getting him and you through this, as best as you both can. And there will be issues, acknowledge this. Be aware. Apologise.
Remember he is much like me.
Find a live out nanny. Find a live in nanny. Get them in. Pay a live in agency. Do what you need. Do what you need to ensure you all survive as best as you can. Use the monies I have almost finalised.
Find a good therapist. For yourself. Go. Allow yourself to feel the anger at the world, at me, ar life, at anything you feel angry at. If I know anything, it's that all feelings are valid. They don't have to make sense.
Denial. Anger. Sadness. Anger. Sadness. Denial. Depression. Loss. Grief so overwhelming that it makes each breath painful. In my experience it all goes around in a circle. There are no clear 5 steps. That's bullshit. There may be 5 well accepted steps, but I feel you can go back and forward and back and forward.
Grief comes in waves.
There's a famous saying about this, that I will rewrite as I see fitting.
That at first they are 1000 metres tall
Relentless, pounding, knocking you down and coming so fast you can barely have time to get to your knees before the next one comes.
With only tiny breaks between
During this time you may feel you just want to lie down. Die. Drown in the tsunami.
But if you can, I hope you can go on. You say that I am strong, but you are far stronger than me in different ways. Your survival instinct is excellent.
Every time these waves come you have to find a way to pick yourself up, work out where/what you are facing, and assess the damages.
However, slowly, so slowly, that you may not even notice it at first, they lessen.
Occasionally there may be one thats overwhelming, where you feel like you may keel over from the pain, where sucking in each breath hurts so much you worry about chest pain.
Get that checked, ask for an ECG.
But slowly, over time, the other waves, will not be as tall, nor hit as hard. Not bring you to your knees, or leave you in a dangerous ocean rip.
50 metres
20 metres
10 metres
They will knock you, but not quite as hard.
The big ones will keep happening, occasionally, they may drop to 1x month or less. They will knock you off your feet, they will bring you to your knees, they will make you want to cry and yell to the world, "Why". "Why me? Why you?"
But they happen less. Eventually. Do trust me, my love.
And then over time
You will find yourself turning, wanting to say something to me
A joke, a news article.
And I won't be there.
Not in person.
To kiss you goodnight, hug you in your sleep.
I know, together our family unit felt complete.
And there will be a hole. A hole, exactly the size of me, inside. Please work on that, when you are ready. Perhaps recognise that I fought as hard as my body could medically take. Perhaps in time, look at my medical notes. See how hard everyone tried
I will be there, as much as I can be. I will live on, whilst I'm remembered.
I'm so sorry. I can't do more.
Be more
Live more
All the things I'll miss, break my heart.
Our sensitive boy, whose heart is going to be shattered, like a crystal glass dropped 100m. Hopefully not beyond repair.
Our 3 year old girl, so happy, caring and loving, who adores her entire family.
(All her birthday presents are ordered/bought. There is nothing for you to organise. A cake. A few friends. Just 2 maybe.)
Our precious wanted toddler who smiles with her entire face, and laughs with her entire body. I hope, in a way, she forgets me. Although be aware that will cause issues later. I feel she will be jealous the other two knew me. Please don't let her blame herself. Its an unknown. She is wanted and loved. I have the family I dreamt of.
I blessed to have you all. You, my precious, loving supportive husband. My darling eldest boy who is so much like me. And my two girls, close in age, who adore each other.
Why I fell apart, I don't know?
At most, I should have ended up with asthma.
Who knows where everyone else has come from?
As it stands, I'm in acute care, awaiting palliative care to come and talk to me.
I can cry, as I'm alone. I'm afraid my love For us all.
All my love, now and forever
And my darling. Please consider dating again. Don't give up on the idea. They won't be me, but that's not bad. You are too young, too full of life to be alone. I don't want that. I cannot make the decision for you, but know it is not what I want. For you, for the family.
submitted by HowManyDaysLeft to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]

2020.09.30 09:37 seen_a_ghost Am I biromantic homosexual, is it the bi-cycle or new relationship excitement?

For a while now I've been identifying as bisexual but still closeted to my family. My (23F) husband (24M) is my best friend. We got married young and had known eachother a long time before. We are incredibly close and I love him more than I know how to put into words but we've never had a very active sex life, and its always been a point of tension. He has always been the higher drive partner and though I know he'd like a more active sex life, I just thought this was the way we are.
He mentioned to me a while back that he thinks I'm attracted to women also. We are from a very conservative area and I have internalized homophobia/biphobia so I took a while admitting to myself that he was right and I am attracted to women.
He encouraged me to date women to figure myself out more and I hit it off with a woman a few weeks ago. We talked on the phone a lot and the first date I left early because I was feeling sick and panicky about being on a date with a woman. The second time I saw her I spent the whole day with her and we had sex on and off all day and I have been so easily aroused by her. My husband and I are both taken by surprise over how quickly I formed a connection with her and how quickly I was comfortable being intimate, because I have never been intimate so quickly with anyone before. My husband and I didn't do anything sexual til we had been dating a while and got married soon after and I've only been with him besides the woman I have been dating.
Im worried that I am biromantic but mostly homosexual and I'm scared. I have tried to factor in the possibility of the bi-cycle, but looking back I don't remember feeling sexual attraction to men very often. Most of what I've wanted to do with men is romantic, like kissing and cuddling. I enjoy pleasing my husband when we do have sex and I can get into it when we do but there has always been an underlying feeling of stress. Ive also considered that I may be just excited about the new relationship and that is why I have not been as interested in my husband sexually but that does not explain our once every couple weeks to a month sex life that has been ongoing for the years that we've been married.
I have talked to my husband about these things, which he already seemed afraid of and we've cried a lot about the idea of not being together but at this point I am afraid I won't end up being able to give him the sex life he'd like and that he will eventually become more bitter. I am afraid of being unfair to him. I am also afraid of if it would be possible that my sexual interest in women would also fade and I would be left in a similar situation down the road with someone else.
There are a lot of emotions going around right now and we've decided to take a few months to try to figure it out and see what we believe we should do, including the relationship being open for him to date women but I am afraid that a non-sexual relationship between us doesn't feel very healthy and sustainable. Im scared of having to live apart from him because he's all I've known my whole adult life. Im scared of being gay. If we divorce I feel I will need to come out, which I think will result in the loss of my family and I believe the divorce would result in the loss of all of my friends that I have where we are because they are friends we made through his work.
I know no one but me can answer these questions really, but I feel really mixed up and would appreciate some outside perspective.
submitted by seen_a_ghost to bisexual [link] [comments]

2020.09.30 05:31 LoopZoop2 New supply's friends are reaching out to me because of my ex.

My ex started talking to this girl about two months before I left him. I tried warning back then what she was getting herself into but she brushed me off. I'm not mad or upset. I know that he probably manipulated the fuck out of her into believing that I'm crazy and the bad guy in the situation and that he's the victim. It doesn't help that she just barely turned eighteen and he's nearly twenty five. I honestly just felt bad for her. When I got with him, I had at least a few months to be around him and get to know him before I moved in, and at least by that point I was an adult with a full time job. This girl is a teenager who literally just graduated a few months ago and was forced to move in with him right after I left. She basically got swooped into his life like pretty much overnight. It didn't help that a few weeks ago, I found him on Tinder and he had been recently active and had all new pictures. I almost messaged her and let her know but decided against it. I had also been told by girls that he was on dating sites. Every single time he lied his way out of it. I didn't think it would do any good, if anything, he might try to go after me.
Today, a friend of hers reached out to me. She told me that she didn't know if he treated me as bad as he's treating her, but that if it was, she was extremely sorry for what he put me through. She went on to say that he's treating her like absolute shit. She explained that she and another friend tried showing the new girlfriend how bad he's treating her but that she won't see it. I feel awful because at least when. I dated him, I at least would get months where he was the perfect boyfriend (though he was still cheating without me knowing) but it sounds to me like this girl is being forced to deal with his asshole behavior almost immediately. I feel awful. She's so young. I guess she might just have to learn on her own that she deserves so much better. Considering she isn't even listening to her friends. I just want to do something, though. I want to reach out to her because I know that even though she's pretending not to listen, she's still dealing with the fact that she knows they're right. I was literally told by a girl that he was cheating on me, and even though I pretended not to believe her, it still lingered in the back of my head that he had probably cheated on me with her and many others.
I just don't know what to do, if there's anything I can do to help her get out of the situation.
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2020.09.30 04:17 TheCuulandBluu Bizarre, uncomfortable experience while researching naturism (Purenudism)

Preface: doing a bit of research on here, it seems people are already well aware of Purenudism and its related sites, but I'd still like to post what I wrote.

I don't know where else to talk about this. I feel as though I can't bring it up with anyone I know personally, as I don't want people knowing what I've been looking into. But maybe people in this community can understand my trouble. I'm going to be censoring a lot of imagery. If any of this is in violation of the rules, please let me know where I can discuss this. I also understand that by bringing this up I may be unintentionally Streisand-ing certain things that I don't want to get extra attention, but I don't know which would be worse, bringing it up or remaining silent.
TL;DR - while researching naturism, I came across a network of very similar-looking sites (purenudism) that I suspect are displaying naturist photos containing underage people for the purposes of pornographic use.
Long version:
I draw a lot, and lately my art has taken on themes of nudity and nature. As such, I've been getting notices of people adding it to nudist/naturist art collections. As time went on, I became more curious about naturism, so I decided to do more research.
If you search "naturism" in Google, you get this - pretty standard affair. Wikipedia article, some naturist organizations, etc. Thing is, I don't use Google; I use an engine called DuckDuckGo because they don't track your history and whatnot. And they, along with Bing as I found out, give very different results. Searching "naturism" on DDG gives this. Notice that safesearch is set to moderate. Funnily enough, if you turn it completely off, the Wikipedia article shows up, but then so do a lot of porn sites. The same sites take the top slots though.
I visited the first link in the results and this is what I saw. I'm going to censor images, but it's basically a Wordpress blog with a crapton of nudist photos, featuring people of all ages - young and old. Nude beaches, nude gatherings in the forest, etc. It looks like a family album, just one where everyone's undressed. Many of the photos have the subjects looking and smiling at the camera. It's quite friendly, and I know that if I were to visit a nudist/naturist resort I'd probably be greeted by the same imagery in person, minus the photography of course.
You might notice that at the top there's a page labeled "legal notice". If you visit it, you'll find a rather long post about how nothing there is illegal, nudity is a human right, it's protected by the US Constitution, etc. etc. I understand this is fairly necessary given today's mass paranoia, especially when minors get involved.
Okay - so far so good, right? Sounds like I'm just being paranoid. And hey, a site full of nude people of all ages and genders is great for art studies. But here's where things start to get weird. If you go back to the search results, you'll notice there are two other sites with very similar titles and descriptions. The word "purenudism" gets used a lot. And if you visit them you'll notice that they look nearly identical to the first site, with many of them sporting a very similar legal notice. (Side note - I'm not censoring urls because it's very easy to find these sites anyway) In fact, the first site actually links to two separate sites in the header, each with similar formats. When searching the first two pages of results on DDG, I found around ten of these sites, seven of which have nearly the exact same legal notice. And the further you go into the search results, the more of these sites you find. Now I'm not stupid - I know there are dark sites out there, even ones who will try to put on a friendly facade. But what baffles me is that these all seem to come from the same entity, they're all in the top results, and there are so many of them.
These sites have varying degrees of dubiousness. Among all the benign-looking naturism stuff you'll find links like "voyeur beaches" or "nudist girls" or "young/teen nudists". Some of the site headers include images of hentai or cropped porn, along with links featuring very adult-oriented tags. And right next to all that will be pictures of nude children. One of the sites has a set of naturist images which include minors, along with a badge in the header saying, "100% legal" and porn links on the side. And of course it includes the same legal notice as all the others.
The sites appear to be based in various countries. Some seem to be in Russia or Ukraine (or at least mention them a lot) and one in particular has an Indonesian domain but features a copyright in Norway. But no matter what country they're in, they're all written in English (poorly) and their legal notices focus primarily on US law.
I could probably keep going down the rabbit hole, but I think you get the point. I highly doubt these sites exist to show the values of naturism and promote the lifestyle. It seems more like they're there to distribute nude photos of minors for purposes of sexual gratification, while hiding under the guise of being naturist blogs. Their emphasis on it being "NOT A PORN SITE" seems less a decrying of paranoia and more a statement of, "Fuck you, it's not illegal."
I have so many questions. How many people are involved with making and running these sites? They all seem to be kept fairly up to date. Where did all the photos come from? Do the people in them know what they're being used for? Why are DuckDuckGo and Bing so eager to place these as the top results? Why are people so slimy?
I don't know what to do. It feels like a problem I can't solve. But mostly I just feel sad. It's a grim reminder that there are a lot of very bad people doing very bad things out there. This isn't the first time I've been introduced to the subject of naturism only for it to take a turn for the worse, and I know there are much deeper, darker places than just this. It's no wonder there's such high paranoia. It feels like you really can't trust anyone. Which sucks, because nudism on that level looks to be an incredible, spiritually fulfilling experience that I currently cannot do.
That's all I can think to say. Thanks for reading.
submitted by TheCuulandBluu to nudism [link] [comments]

2020.09.30 02:39 wasteoflife34342 I have 2 years left to live.

When I turned 27 last year I decided that if I was still a virgin by my 30th birthday I would kill myself the night before my 30th so that I don't become a 30 year old virgin. I just turned 28 and nothing has happened in the past year. It is a freeing feeling knowing that I have such a short amount of time left. The past decade I have marked my suffering by remembering all my failures every year at my birthday. This was my first birthday where I felt good. I have something to look forward to.
My adult life has been nothing but suffering from the fact that I am hugless kissless handholdless virgin. To be clear my virginity is not the problem per se. The problem is that I won't ever have a partner to share my life with. I want to have someone I could grow old with. I want someone to be with. I don't want to feel so alone. Since I was young I wanted to have a family and raise children. If I could have sex or have a girlfriend I could prove to myself that such a future is possible.
When I was younger I thought that if I had interesting hobbies, or if I made lots of money I could attract women but that's pretty clearly bullshit. I have done both and nothing has changed. I used to blame myself, but now I realize this fate was ordained at my conception. I just have shit DNA. My ugly face and my shy and worthless personality just excludes me from the dating pool. When COVID is factored into the equation my chances of escape approach 0. With almost all dating moving online looks matter more than ever.
I've decided I'm not going to kill myself until my date incase something happens but the chances are about 0 percent.
I'll update again next year.
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2020.09.30 02:31 Clean_Cabinet My life, why can’t I do the things I want to do

I feel like the only way to talk about my issues is to list out everything simply Bc I will throw in so much detail. I work at a BBQ restaurant. Before I was a vegetarian wanting to convert to vegan- whole food plant based diet). Given an oppurtunity to eat lunch for free everyday, there’s nothing that’s really healthy besides the most generic salad you can think of. I can save a bunch of money. But I try working 40 hrs- no lunch as a dishwasher. I have a lot of responsibilities and My legs constantly hurt. I’m thinking about just working 4 days a week instead of 5 but I’ll be missing out on $180 with that one extra day off. Or am I just being a baby? I’m trying to find the right pair of shoes, no luck yet.
I live with my bf’s family Bc my family was too overbearing. They consist of 2 functional alcoholics, a 26 yo with severe autism and an 18 yo that doesn’t know basic hygiene. The mom who’s an alcoholic barely meets the hygiene requirements for her autistic kid and she’s never layed down any rules for her kids so My bf and I are usually the only ones that clean. My bf. I do love him but sometimes we are not at the same intellectual level. We don’t have deep conversations and He says I always nag when Im just trying to give out suggestions. We’ve been back together for 6 months now and share a dog for the past 4 years of her life. we dated a while back for 3 years bc things were taken out of context “we should go on a break”. He just wanted to be on a break from living at my house).
My house consisted of my parents, my grandmother(dementia) and my younger brother and sister (both young adults) and brothers gf and basically a zoo of animals. 6 dogs, 2cats, 2rats, a fish and huge amount of bugs. Mom could never really say no to taking in bugs and I want her to get rid of the bugs Bc she can take care of them but not the best way possible. She’s more of a collector then a caretaker. She feeds the dogs really well but there’s nothing else to that. No training, No walks or much going out. The bugs. Some enclosures need to be a lot bigger. It doesn’t get changed unless I nag her to. I moved out Bc I couldn’t handle the chaos any more.
My dad, the only person paying for the house was putting money into vet bills and home repair. He’s worked at Boeing for decades and doesn’t have anything to show for it. He’s been a functional addict for years, taking pills, giving his wife what she wants. She is barely able to treat herself/ take care of herself (like just the basic necessities) Bc she’s taking care of everybody else. Me and my siblings always went to her Bc he was always in a bad mood when he came home from work. I insisted getting rid of the bugs. She kept them Bc we’d sell them at reptile shows and make lots of money and she had no other way to make money. She also made friends and was part of a community. But to me she kept tings Bc she liked them, but there’s too many. And I know Bc I put the effort to research. The research she knows is reptile lighting. But the well-being of animals, she has no consideration for and it angered me. Almost like a hoarding-like tendency with her and animals. I’ve wanted to find something she could make money from but she doesn’t even really know what she likes besides animals. She likes them but she doesn’t know how to fully take care of them, put in much research. My dad was mean and he didn’t really have anything nice to show for the kind of money he made . I don’t blame him for being upset all the time. He gave up everything for her to be happy.
But the thing that made me distant from him is the comments he’d make at women, it made me uncomfortable like saying “daddy like.... daddy Liiiikkke” when they were extremely attractive or “bouncy-bouncy!” When they had big boobs. I just don’t think dads should say these things out load, especially when your kids are like 12-14. My dads a lot better now since he’s doing couples therapy with my mom, anger management and on some medication. He walks regularly as exercise. Just by himself or my mom. The dogs are too chaotic and untrained to go on walks.
My brothers gf is a bit of a child when it comes to animals. She’ll post them on snap. But replace them with something else a week later. She has a chihuahua and my brothers dog who she was very attached to and dogs too became dependent of her but she decided to live at her parents house in order to keep the pit bull. She lost a pit bull once and thinks this is the redemption. Besides that, I cant count how many times she’s wanted to break up with my brother. Now she and my brother sleep on the floor in her sisters room so they could keep the pit bull. The pit bull she brought was sweet and was a rescue but she attacked other dogs and if you got in the way, you’d get bit and my mom finally put her foot down after 4 months, “you can’t have her here, I have to constantly baby sit her and make sure she doesn’t kill anyone”. She is very sweet but she is also very dumb. She didn’t really want to listen to anyone but the dogs would give her a cue to back off and the pit bull insisted, and a fight would break loose.
My brother stays with his gf and pit bull and occasionally comes back home by himself. He’s cheap and doesn’t want to move out and she wants to move out. They love each other. My brother is a genuinely nice person. I trust his gf trememdndously but I don’t want them together if my brother isn’t the right one. He has a learning disability but the gf doesn’t find it a good enough excuse to why he can’t listen and second guesses. I don’t really want them together. I’m proud they’d sleep on the floor to keep a dog, but they left their 2 other dogs behind at my moms house.
Besides everyone stressing me out. I try to do depop, sell hot wheels on the side. I used to play soccer but I can’t play Bc my legs hurt. I used to like yoga but I honestly don’t feel like it. I’m just aching all the time. It sounds like I’m making excuses and I am. But I’m tired, i overeat, Im over weight, I hurt and I have to research everything beforehand and I have a million ideas going through my head everyday and that alone is tiring on top of a 40 hr workweek and a dog that constantly need to be ran. Having talked to a nutritionist my overeating comes mentally. How’s your family/friend relationships? They’re okay, I don’t hang out with any friends (even before the pandemic) do you have any hobbies? I have quite a bit but I don’t have time for all of them. do you meditate? Nope. Do you exercise? I wish.....
I know I can’t help anyone but I just wish people weren’t so delusional. I’m delusional to think I can keep going. I have no balance, I worry about everyone else. I worry about animals. I want enough time to do everything.
If I could paint my life, I’d want to do yoga every morning. I’d be vegan. Play the occasional soccer game, skateboard, play with my dog and practice music theory. I’d do graphic design on my iPad. Thee Occasional paint. Gardener. Thrift cute clothes. I’d actually wear makeup and where what I want to wear. weight lift either in the morning or after noon. My career... an interior designer perhaps? Song writer? Serial entrepreneur... more the likes of it. I’m trying my best to be eco friendly but I’m still far off. Idk what I want to be when I grow up I just know what I don’t want: No bugs, no inheritance to sell.
But I guess starting question, should I sacrifice pay and work less to maybe help with my health or keep pushing through and fingers crossed things will fall into place?
submitted by Clean_Cabinet to mentalhealth [link] [comments]

2020.09.30 01:42 puffy-jacket I’m talking to someone right now but I feel too overwhelmed to date right now

I’ll preface this with I’m 24, in my final year of college, living at home, never been in a relationship or really did anything with anyone other than go on a date once my freshman year of college. I’ve dealt with a lot of mental health problems and struggling with sexual orientation and identity (I’m non-binary and bisexual) so while I’ve wanted to have a relationship from time to time it just was not something on my mind the way it is for a lot of other teens and young adults.
Everything with covid has gotten me feeling pretty lonely and feeling down about my future so I started using bumble without any real expectations. I matched with a guy who’s super nice, cute, pretty easy to talk to and we’ve been texting back and forth for a week or so. The main “deal breaker” (not sure if I would call it that) is that he’s a good 2 hour drive from me. That’s already kind of difficult to arrange a meet up but also when I’m not working on school I’m at my job or eating/sleeping so I’m kind of dreading the thought of trying to meet this person anytime soon.
Part of me wants to keep this going further just because I’m afraid of letting this chance slip away from me. Like I said I’m 24 and I know being in a relationship or losing your virginity isn’t some special marker of adulthood like the movies make it out to be but still my main life goals rn other than getting my degree are moving out of my parents’ house and starting to actually date people. I’ve come a long way in terms of my social anxiety but I still worry a little that I’m just going to die a virgin or that I’m never going to fall in love or something.
but the other part of me is so freaking overwhelmed from my classes and work that I often have trouble remembering to keep in touch with my own friends and family let alone feel like putting in the work to get to know someone new. And then I think if I do keep talking to him and it leads somewhere am I going to want to put the work into a long distance relationship? I don’t even know where I plan to live after college.
I can’t tell if I’m not putting in the work to forge a connection with this guy or if it’s just not there and I need to move on. I asked some of my friends and my mom and they seem to want me to try and meet him or at least zoom call him but I don’t know. I can’t separate my nervousness about talking to someone new from my ability to gauge my interest in getting to know them.
submitted by puffy-jacket to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.29 23:57 NikkionSims Lola Belle is a Generational Creep!

Lola Belle is a Generational Creep!
In the beginning she became really close friends with one of my first generation Sims, Donna Lee-Smith. Throughout that time Lola kept calling Donna's husband, Abraham Smith, to ask him out on a date. With repeated refusal, eventually when their son Leonard Smith became a young adult and went to the restaurant with his girlfriend, Lola was there and started hitting on him (image 3). Literally later that night, she calls Abraham again (4). Suffice to say that Lola and Donna are not friends anymore.

Sorry that the images are sloppily put together. What can I say when using paint? :D'
submitted by NikkionSims to Sims3 [link] [comments]

2020.09.29 23:52 UnevenSleeves WLW and autism

Hi everyone!
So before I ask I just want to say that I'm searching for the right terminology but if I make any mistakes below please let me know so I can change it. I'm going to be using "autistic person" because I've seen people online saying that they prefer this over "person with autism", but then again please correct me if I'm wrong.
So basically I'm thinking of participating in Nanowrimo this year. Nanowritmo stands for National Novel Writing Month. During the month of november people challenge themselves to try to write a novel/50k words.
I have this idea for a young adult novel of 2 girls, one of them being autistic. There's more to the story but basically girl A starts as "straight" but soon figures out she's bi when she starts to have feelings for girl B. Girl B is autistic and is an out and proud lesbian.
Girl A is supposed to be this super outspoken/takes no bullshit from anyone type of girl, but when it comes to making the first move she is a useless sapphic like the rest of us. She will try to make subtle moves but will fail because girl B has difficult understanding sublety.
Again, there will be more to the story but this is the point where girl B's autism would be relevant. The thing is, I'm not autistic myself and I don't personally know anyone who is so I'm afraid to write something offensive.
My question is, could this plot be considered offensive? As in it making it seems that flirting/dating an autistic person is something hard? Because -spoiler alert- they will end up together, but I didn't want it to sound like autistic people are difficult to deal with.
I'm doing research on how autism is portrayed in media in general to avoid harmful stereotypes but I also would love to read what you guys have to say about it.
submitted by UnevenSleeves to actuallesbians [link] [comments]

2020.09.29 22:20 Ralkotaan Friendly reminder to BE NICE to your retail employees while toy-hunting

Every single one of us that is getting these new figures fresh off the truck and mostly before the street dates are getting them because a Target or Wal-Mart employee bent over backwards and stopped what they were doing to help us out. The company line is: "these are street dated and we can't sell them yet." Anything they do beyond that is exceeding the limits of their job. Please act accordingly
I was lucky enough to get the Storm/Thunderbird pack at my local Target today. I asked nicely, showed some screenshots from Instagram and Reddit showing many other Targets have sold them, and explained that the item should ring-up correctly if they try (even though it says it's street dated on their handhelds). It took some pleading but I ended up getting help from one very cautious employee that was super nervous about breaking rules and had to call her manager and verify that this was ok, which it turns out it was.
While I was standing at the electronics register doing this, a young couple with a bunch of other Marvel Legends scores in their cart (possibly scalpers? can't be sure) came up and began tearing into the employee and her coworker in a serious way. Apparently they had asked about the same two-pack earlier with this other coworker (who was now looking over the shoulder of the woman helping me to see if this unique street-dated item transaction could actually be done).
The things they said were shocking.
"You were too lazy to help us." Mean.
"We're screwed because you can't do your job properly." Dramatic.
And my favorite: an adult woman screaming "THAT SHOULD BE OUR TOY!!!"
I understand the frustration. Toy hunting can be an emotional rollercoaster. We all know the euphoric feeling of seeing a new item for the first time after going to half a dozen stores several times a week. The scarcity created by scalpers makes it even harder.
You can be frustrated. You can be crestfallen. You don't get to be belligerent. That's crossing a line. Had they been nicer I might have relented and let them take it. I consider it "pre-karma" that these mean-spirited people didn't get someone to go out of their way for them. In the long run they showed themselves to be unworthy of such excellent customer service.
submitted by Ralkotaan to MarvelLegends [link] [comments]

2020.09.29 20:55 PoppyPancakes [TOMT] [FILM] horror movie early 2010s, focus on a mirror

I am looking for a horror movie that I remember watching in theaters. I know I saw it in high school, and it was probably R rated, and I turned 17 in 2011.
From what I remember a group of teenagers or young adults was staying overnight at an old mansion. There was a weird focus on a mirror in the movie. Pretty much everyone died, and somehow their deaths were related back to this mirror.
I know this sounds super vague but this is all I can remember.
It was an American, or at least English-speaking, movie.
I really don’t think the movie was Oculus because that came out in 2013 and I swear I was in high school (2012 grad) when I watched it
Edit: wrong release date for Oculus
submitted by PoppyPancakes to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]

2020.09.29 20:41 meow1983 Brownies and coffee

TLDR: Online date spit brownie everywhere and burped constantly while talking nonstop about how great an author he is and how great he is in general for over 2 hours.
So, I just found this subreddit. A bit of back story, I married young to an awful man and after the divorce had no idea about dating. This was my first adult date. I met him online.
We agree to meet at my local coffee shop at 10 am. The man shows up and it is immediately clear that he is at least ten years older then his online pictures. That is ok. Weird but not a deal breaker.
I already had my coffee, I was nervous so I arrived early, so he went up to get a coffee. He joined me at the table with a coffee and one of their large brownies.
We exchange pleasantries. Then he proceeds to talk nonstop for the next two and a half hours. I recently wrote a novel so he was trying to convince me that he is an author as well. He proceeded to describe popular movies like the terminator but with a minor change like the terminator was an alien not a robot and then claim it was a completely original idea despite it being just the same as the movie. That was annoying but not the deal breaker.
The WHOLE time he is talking he is drinking his coffee and eating his brownie with his mouth open. He is spraying spittle across the table and I just discreetly scoot backwards. Then because he doesn't stop his talking to chew and swallow he starts loudly burping.
He has brownie bits stuck in his teeth. He is spraying brownie chunks across the table. And he is still TALKING. I get so bored that after ten minutes of his burping I started counting the burps.
23 burps later, I finally got a word in and mentioned that the coffee shop closed ten minutes ago. I said maybe 30 words the entire time. I also can't look at a brownie without seeing what I saw.
He wanted to keep dating but I didn't. He was lacking in basic intelligence and table etiquette. He never even learned anything about me. I could have just been a cardboard cutout sitting there. He could have just propped up a mirror and talked to himself and he would have thought it was a GREAT date. He actually told me it was the best date he had been on in years.
Dating sucks!
submitted by meow1983 to DatingHell [link] [comments]

2020.09.29 20:31 Subtlegi {NF] A Technical Investigation of Citizen Kane

I wrote this some time back as a term paper for a College Film Class. The reference pics have been removed to save space
A Technical Investigation of Citizen Kane
It’s Not All Black and White
📷 Citizen Kane is considered perhaps the best film ever produced. What does it contain that so many of others missed? I believe it is the imagination and technical expertise of Orson Welles and Greg Toland’s talent cocktail that forged this memorable work. To the right, notice both men on the floor setting up a low angle shot. Welles did very little alone, he was intelligent enough to use “OPB” other people’s brains. The screenplay alone does not stand up well against many other “Great Films,” it is the audio/visual experience created by the use of great techniques in lighting, photography and sound recording which make this film a masterpiece.
Over a period of twenty-five years, I have acquired a great deal of knowledge and experience in the Visual Arts. During this time I worked professionally in film, sound, and video while also enjoying the wonderful art of amateur black and white photography. My resume’ qualifies me to present a case for my thesis and in doing so I will cite technical information which is a part of my knowledge base. This combined with my research, meld into a comprehensive report on the behind the scenes wizardry of an ultra talented group of filmmakers.
📷Like most humans, I experience film through my eyes and ears, always looking deeper, beyond the dialog alone, into the complete experience. Although I hear the famous word “Rosebud” spoken by Kane, it is the atmosphere of the room, and the close up of his mouth, which amplifies the moment.
📷 Orson Welles wrote, directed, and acted in many productions of which Citizen Kane, being his best known, is the film he’ll be remembered. The following is a sampling of other productions Welles wrote, directed and more, except for this first two, written by William Shakespeare. MACBETH, described by Welles as "a violently sketched charcoal drawing of a great play," The magnificent photography by John L. Russel (Psycho) Directed by Orson Welles, and acted by Welles, Jeanette Nolan, DanO'Herlihy, Roddy McDowall, 1948. OTHELLO (production spanned three years) it won the Grand Prize at Cannes. Directed by Orson Welles, With: Welles, Suzanne Cloutier, Micheàl MacLiammoir, Robert Coote, 1952, THE LADY FROM SHANGHAI, Rita Hayworth plays a sultry wife, and includes the legendary hall-of-mirrors shootout finale. Directed and written by Orson Welles, 1947. THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS, Directed and written by Orson Welles, 1942. TOUCH OF EVIL, Directed and written by Orson Welles, With: Heston, Welles, Janet Leigh, Joseph Calleia, Akim Tamiroff, Dietrich, Mercedes McCambridge, Dennis Weaver, 1958 (Starlight News).
After reading the above, it is impossible to overlook Welles as the original film multi-tasker. This man did it all. As a fine actor, writer, and director, it can be argued Welles has a bit of a control issue, but perhaps when you’re as talented as he, it’s not to unusual to not want to place your work or self in another’s hands.
The conductor of light, director of photography Greg Toland was hired from Samuel Goldwym Studios at $700.00 per week (Carringer 69). While at Goldwyn Studios Toland became regarded as one of the most creative cinematographer of the 1930.
His ‘acknowledged brilliance,’ as “American Cinematographer” magazine argued in 1942, placed him in the most nearly ideal position any Director of Photography has since the halcyon days when D.W. Griffith and Billy Blitzer were between them creating the basic techniques of the screen (American Cinematographer).
These accolades and of course the films themselves placed Toland in a position of power when negotiating with producers. Here are some items he requested and received from the producers of Citizen Kane. “RKO was obliged to employ Toland’s regular crew and rent his camera equipment from Goldwyn” (Carringer 69). He demanded these guarantees as an artist, for he had personalized his equipment, his brush, so to speak, to accommodate the style in which he shot. The crew consisting of grips, camera assistants, and gaffes were all a part of Toland’s creative bag of tricks that worked together as a one organism to accomplish the monumental task of producing a film of this caliber. Above all Toland insisted on creative control. This he had become accustomed to at Goldwyn Studios. After much success in his early career, Toland remarked, "I want to work with someone who's never made a movie. That's the only way to learn anything from someone who doesn't known anything”(Walling). He got his chance in 1941 with Citizen Kane on Orson Welles first movie. This team of Toland, and Welles became a creative partnership unsurpassed in movie making history.
There is light and the absence of light, there is shadow, created by infringing on the path of a light. These elements are the two ends of the visual spectrum. White (light), Black (shadow) and by the expected use of them, every lighting situation (in B/W) can be resolved. Mind pictures like these become possible in the right hands. Powerful light driven through small spaces cut like knives on the floor and walls. Soft light pushed through a window or down a hall washes the area like a softly driven snow. The power of this technique is obvious in the shot captured of the Walter Thatcher Library. (right) Nothing is resolved here (can be seen clearly), but it’s not the dialog or the face of the actors the filmmakers are interested in, but the mood set by the absence of light and the rod of
light coming from above. Reminiscent of a spiritual setting, the beam of light representing the entrance of the Almighty into the room.
Film is the medium that followed and in some ways took the place of paint, brush, and canvas, first with the snapshot, followed by moving pictures. In 1940 film had its limitations, even today it’s requires an informed photographer to photograph in a variety of settings with equally satisfactory results. Much of what makes an artist great is the length to which they are able to stretch the medium in which they work. This is where Welles and Toland excelled; they stretched the ability of the camera and film to lengths never before attained.
The tone of Citizen Kane is created with light, shadow, and darkness. Photography and light go hand in hand, in fact photography, as we know it, cannot exist without a light source. The way a scene is lit directly affects the resulting print. Film stocks of the late thirties, early forties were “slow” meaning the amount of exposure time (to light) with respect to the quality and resolution of the resulting print is high (long). A “fast” film with a speed of 800ASA or higher can capture an image indoors without a flash or extra lighting in a normally lit room. In 1940 a 100ASA film was considered fast, this film used in daylight would be capable of good exposure, but anything less than daylight would require lights, for a stills, a flash, for moving pictures, stage/motion picture lighting …Big, Hot, sometime noisy lights.
The film used to shoot Citizen Kane was Kodak Super XX, 100ASA which was an “off the shelf” product, that fortunately for Toland had just recently been released. Double X was “Four Times Faster” than its immediate predecessor. Without this timely release Citizen Kane may never have been made. The other variable is the amount of light needed and available, and how much one chooses to expose the film. Exposure time and aperture settings are two variables that determine, to a great extent, whether a scene will appear as bright as a 📷sunny day or full of shadows with the blackest blacks, but only grayish whites. Proper contrast presents itself as balanced if upon examination the black & white negative it exhibits the two extremes represented on the gray scale, black and white. This bias manifests in a photo that is too dark or too light and lacks contrast.
The manipulation of exposure can be seen and studied early in this film. In the scene shot in the projection room, Toland under exposed the film by not using an “average” light setting, (balanced) instead he resolved the streams of light pouring from the projection windows and placed the actors in the shadows. There is nothing wrong with this; in fact, it is exactly what they wanted. The average person taking snapshots of their children would not appreciate their photos turning out in this fashion, but the professional is an artist, and artists create moods and settings with the tools of their art. In film, what we don’t see sometimes makes the shot
📷 “Camera derives from the Latin word for room or chamber. The camera pre-dates film. The Camera Obscura or “Dark Room,” occasionally seen at scenic locations was, in its original form, a pinhole camera.
The “pinhole’ in the roof could scan the countryside by means of a rotating mirror. The image was focused on a white table in the center if the room and viewed by observers inside the “camera” (Di Guilio).
📷”The Mitchell Camera Corporation began in 1919 as a camera repair and modification shop in Hollywood, as The National Motion Picture Repair Company (Roberts 141). The film was shot with Mitchell BNC cameras (BNC stands for Blimped News reel Camera). The BNC was introduced in 1934 and the first two cameras were sold to Goldwyn Studios in 1934 and 1935. "The first important picture on which they were used was Citizen Kane" (Roberts148) In 1934, this camera made the recording of sound for film feasible. At around 35 dB, the NC was quiet enough for unblimped use in exterior sound filming, as long as the microphone was not near the camera. Later that year the BNC was introduced, the B stood for Blimped. The Blimp is a sound proof housing which surrounded the camera bringing the sound level to a very quiet 21dB! To the average person these numbers mean nothing, even with an explanation of these levels may continue to seem irrelevant. But, take it from a man who spent years on sound stages, in recordings and television studios, the difference is huge; 35dB “decibels” is the sound level in an average home, 21dB is the sound level of a whisper, or rustling leaves. These are logarithmic numbers and the difference is demonstrated by taking the next step up. 70dB is the sound level of freeway traffic and of a vacuum cleaner. The change the “blimped” camera had on motion pictures is immense! (Noise)
The camera’s angle and length of lens create perspective. A long lens creates a voyeuristic feel as if looking in from afar a good example being Hitchock’s Rear Window. A short or wide lens brings the viewer into the scene. Angles are simple to understand.
Considered how you appear to a small child from its playpen? Put yourself in the it’s place, think of its perspective “low” looking up, “wide” larger than life, and somewhat distorted view. This is not a pleasant picture. The baby looking up sees a huge, distorted thing; fortunately babies are innocent and cannot put the ominous nature of their vulnerable scene in perspective. Conversely, the perspective of an adult looking down at a child is like a king from his throne, a feeling of power, not vulnerability. Perspective makes the difference. Even in a situation where those involved are adults as in a courtroom setting, perspective plays a role. In a courtroom, the judge sits up high upon their judgement seat, which forces the defendant to look up. The judge appears large and powerful, while the defendant feels small, powerless, and vulnerable. Above, strong and in control, below, weak and suppliant. Orson, digs holes (right) in floors, through walls, and flies his cameras in the air shooting from different angles, creating different perspectives. A film shot at one level is flat, without flavor and as bland as an unseasoned potato.
📷 Next we explore the topic of “depth of field” (the distance from the object nearest to the camera and the farthest that are in continuous focus) also know as “Deep Focus” The first notable example is from the footage shot in the parlor of Mrs. Kane’s boarding house. In the foreground, mother, father, and Mr.Thatcher
discuss the boy’s future while in the background young Kane is seen through the window, all in perfect focus. Another example is the scene where Kane and his wife are sitting at either end of a long dining table in the huge Xanadu, big headed Kane intimidating and distorted (not out of focus) in the foreground, his bored wife, small and insignificant in the distance, both presented in sharp detail.
📷This next frame combines two techniques, “tight composition,” and “deep focus.” Tight composition meaning a quantity of images in a relatively small frame, and deep focus, all the images in frame are in focus. The scene is when Kane walks in on Susan’s singing lesson only to hear “the Maestro,” frustrated and disgusted with Susan’s ineptness, screaming a laundry list of insults at her. Bad timing. Kane in anger reprimands “the Maestro.”
After a few critical viewings, and a quick look at my camera’s dept of field indicator, I estimate the field covered in “the Maestro” frame was approximately 18 inches to 30 feet. Probably an 18mm or 25mm lens was used which has great depth of field when stopped down to F/11 or F/16, these two numbers are aperture setting or f-stops, indicate the size of the hole the camera looks through. The larger the number the smaller the hole, and the great dept of field.
A standard photographers table supplies the following values: for an 18.5mm lens at F/8: 1' 6" to Infinity and for 25mm: 2’ 9" to Infinity. To shoot at these apertures, a 100 ASA film requires 1280-foot candles of light, which is quite high by today’s standards. (A foot-candle is equal to the light ‘one candle’ would illuminate a surface at the distance of one foot.)
The definition of Deep Focus is applicable as a frame of reference in defining Shallow Focus, in which one part of the screen is in focus and the rest blurred, thus directing the viewer's attention to the key element of the action. This was a useful technique, but not an innovation in the1930s, having been used since the early days of film, although much of it’s use was dictated by the limitations of the cameras and films of the time.
An unknown Internet author describes a fancy focus technique.
📷Toland found that extra means were needed to maintain sharpness in certain extremely deep shots. Split-focus lenses and carefully controlled double exposures sometimes turned the trick, but were difficult to set up. One example is in the sequence in which Kane's wife attempts suicide: a glass, spoon and medicine bottle in sharp focus dominate the foreground; the bed is in the middle ground; and figures enter the door in the background. Here the foreground was lighted and photographed first, with the rest of the scene in darkness. Then the foreground was silhouetted and the background was lighted and shot in focus on the same film. (Sharp Practice)
Film is the medium that in some ways followed and took the place of paint, brush, and canvas. First came the snapshot, followed by moving pictures. To this day film has limitations, but in 1940, they were manifold. Much of what makes an artist great is the length to which they stretch the medium in which they work. This is where Welles and Toland excelled; they stretched the ability of camera, film, and light to lengths never before attained.
📷Before the making of Citizen Kane sound stages and film sets were open ceiling. A lot went on just above the frame, all of it unseemly, and needed to be hid, things such as; microphones, (big ugly microphones on booms with cables hanging) and other equipment that hung from the usually high ceiling sets. This open ceiling arrangement prohibited the camera from tilting (a vertical pan) any higher than the top of a room’s wall. Toland and Welles had no desire to repeat the same old shots seen hundreds of times before. They figured a way to work around this problem. They created ceilings with muslin, now microphones and the like were hidden above this “new ceiling.” This permitted Toland to shoot from the floor, (right) actually from a hole in the floor without thought of running out of wall. Note all that ceiling showing.
📷This took the bit from Toland’s mouth, freeing him to point the camera wherever his heart desired. The frame pictured to the left is an extraordinary example for three innovations are demonstrated in one shot: covered ceilings, a low angled perspective and deep focus. Fantastic!
Who says you have to be high tech to be innovative? Artists dislike restraints, when set free, they fly high. Freedom brought us this wonderful film.
The sound on Citizen Kane encompasses dialog, sound effects, and the musical score. In reverse order, Bernard Herrman scored the film, and later went on to compose the music for other great movies, including Psycho and Taxi Driver (who can forget that sax?). Welles brought with him from radio a keen ear and an understanding of sound effects. These effects augmented the film, but were not overpowering as in some films today. One example of his subtle usage is noted by Robert Carringer. “. . . such as the typewriter heard in extreme close-up when Kane is finishing the opera review and the musical accompaniment to the light bulb that dims to signal the faltering of Susan’s singing career”(100). I’ve recorded many sound tracks for video and television and I don’t envy the task assigned to the engineers in charge of this film. Even when recording a simple spot, I used more and better equipment than the entire sound crew of Citizen Kane.
In their process . .
. . . there are two separate and distinct sound operations, each presided over by a different sound engineer. One engineer is in charge of the sound recorded during the production. His chief assistant is the operator of the boom – a microphone slung from a long metal rod and suspended above the actors’ heads (Carringer 102).
Considering the task of a “boom operator” under ordinary circumstances was difficult, on Welles’ set there were times it must have been close to impossible. Because of the muslin ceilings the operator had a much more difficult time properly placing the microphones above the actors.
Once recorded, then it went into post production, and into the hands of James G. Stewart, a sound contractor who work on some of the most famous theaters in America, including Radio City Music Hall, before moving to California and joining RKO. He was in charge of post production, in those days called “rerecording,” today mixing and overdubs.
📷In the late thirties one could not go to a local sound store and buy whatever your budget allowed, these sound engineers, were just that, “engineers,” and if they needed something they’d design and build it. The crude two-man mixing console shown here is a “one off,” built for RKO under Stewart’s direction. Prior to this point in the process, the audio is dry (no effects, or processing) it’s during the “re-recording” process that echo, reverb, effects, and overdubs are inserted and mixed. Sound persons rarely get much glory, but without them, the public might still be watching silent films (Carringer 102-3).
In closing, Citizen Kane is a technical milestone in movie making, although I find the screenplay depressing. This tale of a boy removed from his family, given an education and all the money he could ever need (so one would think). Who grows into an idealistic, generous, and kind man, who had plans to change the world, but instead the world changed him, and for that, he hates the world and himself in return. The final scene, reveals his true heart, one, once so soft, now, hardened and broke. Calling to the heavens, spoke his final word “Rosebud” the name of a sleigh he once owned, so long ago, before fate stepped in and killed the boy. When Kane spoke, “Rosebud” he was not only calling out the name of a child’s toy, no, he was calling out to the life he left behind which contained that sleigh. The life he never had the chance to live.
📷📷📷📷📷”Rosebud” “Rosebud” “Rosebud” “Rosebud” “Rosebud”
Sources Cited
American Cinematographer, “Greg Toland.” 1942. (1999)
Carringer, Robert. The Making of Citizen Kane. University of California Press, Berkeley
  1. 69, 100, 103-04.
Di Giulo, Edmund. “An Historical Survey of the Professional Motion-Picture Camera.”
SMPTE Journal, NY, 1967
Forzano’s Studio Stock “Gray Scale Chart” NY, 1979.
Noise Levels In Decibels. “The Sound Level Chart” (Nov. 2000)
Roberts, Laurence. “The Mitchell Camera: The Machine and Its Makers”
SMPTE Journal, NY. Oct. 1981: 141, 147, 148.
Star Light News. “Orson Wells.” (Nov. 2000)
The British Film Institute “Gregg Toland -Sharp Practice” (Oct.2000)
Time Life “Citizen Kane Cinematography Notes” (Oct. 2000)
Images: Peter Stackpole, LIFE, Welles and Toland on floor, 1.
RKO Radio Picture**:** Projection Room, 4. Mother in the Boarding House, Kane outside, 7. Tight Composition, 8. Low Ceilings, 10. Low Angle, 10.
Walling, Christopher “Cinematographer Gregg Toland” (Nov. 2000)
Wilgus, Jack and Beverly. “A Search for Camera Obscura.” The Magic Mirror of Life. (Nov. 2000)
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2020.09.29 20:20 1ntr0v3rtsan This Time He Did It

He (19) bought his mom off with periodic spurts of 'responsible for a young adult' behavior. But he didn't continue it. As soon as she get's distracted by other things, he's back to his own priorities. He had two great paying jobs. Decided he just didn't want to "work there" anymore. He burned through his savings making his car payments, paying his insurance, and generally blowing it on socializing. He had 6 months of rent, car payments, and insurance in the bank. A safety net that he was advised to have as a good cushion and smart saving.

According to the dates on his documentation, he has been planning this suicide since he left his last job. Always positive in conversations about getting another job. Having job search results up on his computer monitors periodically. It all looked great. Oh yea, I applied here, oh yea, I applied there.

The post death instructions and comments were so excited. He didn't know where he was going but he was excited. He was going to the other side and couldn't wait. No. This is not a religious reference. The dates on entries show a long and drawn out planning period. Like he was going on a trip. Specific instructions for his ashes and possessions were left.
The night he did it, he left the house as usual for typical late night young adult socializing. Checked out with us. Going here, going there, be back X time ish. All cool.

His friend called in the middle of the night in a panic. Friends had received their instructions and goodbyes and jumped into action. 911 was called. Searching began. They found him before it was too late. He's in the ICU.

This is his second incident. After his first incident, professionals said that he will tell people what he wants them to hear. He's not to be trusted, per them. The thought was that he was recovering and improving.

His mother is destroyed. Previous life events have already left her fragile. She trusted him and believed him. Bought into the facade.
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2020.09.29 18:06 No_Explanation_8090 Friend [24 M] is furious at me [25 M] for hooking up with his younger sister [19 F] ?

I tried to explain this as objectively as I can.
I’m friends with this guy named Sam. We're not really close friends but one of my good friends became close friends with him. We all live in the same apartment complex and are around the same age (mid 20s) so we hang out a lot. His younger sister Nina (she's 19), a college student, recently moved in with him after their mom died. He told us we were not allowed to mess around with her under any circumstances. Their dad died when they were super young and now that they are kind of orphans, he really puts on this over protective big brothefather figure role. Also apparently their family were religious muslims but neither of them seem to be practicing but it seems to shape his view on girls and sex.
So it’s not like I intentionally went out of my way to start something with Nina to piss him off but we started hanging out because she was interested in my field of career and then we started hooking up about 3 months ago. She’s a full grown adult so I didn’t feel guilty at all about it but we tried to keep it secret because neither of us wanted to deal with Sam. I made it clear to her from the beginning that I was not interested in a relationship and it was just sex and that we weren’t exclusive. In the past month or so it was becoming obvious Nina was becoming too attached and wanted more from the relationship than I could give her. I’ve been meaning to break things off but hadn’t gotten around to it yet.
About a week ago Sam found out about us because Nina had my t shirt and confronted her about it. She said that we were dating and that we were “in love.” I really have no idea why she said this. He then confronts me and said that if we were serious about each other he wasn’t against us being together because he wants his sister to be happy but it has to be in the open and not sneaking around. So I’m not going to trap myself in a relationship just because a girl has a protective brother so I was honest and told him it wasn’t serious and we definitely were not in a relationship and were just hooking up.
He becomes furious and literally tries to fight me. He then paints a picture of me as an asshole who took advantage of his grieving baby sister to all of our mutual friends. Most of them are taking his side and said that I was out of line. I really don’t think I did anything wrong and I think Nina manipulated the situation to make me look bad but now all our mutual friends are cold towards me now.
What should I do? How can I repair my relationship with my friends + Sam? This is really fucking with me.

tl:dr: Hooked up with my friend's younger sister behind his back. He found out. She told him we were in a relationship even thought we weren't. He's now mad at me and turning our friends against me.
submitted by No_Explanation_8090 to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.09.29 17:58 Gideon770 The need of a new approach to teaching the Law of Chastity

I've been thinking about this topic for a while now because it has affected me and many of my friends personally and I wanted to get some more thoughts on it.
I think the way we talk about and teach the Law of Chastity is very much out of date and is not helping children and youth but on the contrary, damaging them. Of course, I can only talk about my own experience but that's why I'm posting on here.
So when I (M/21) was growing up, the topic of the Law of Chastity was rarely ever brought up. My parents didn't really do a good job of talking about it and it was basically never a topic in church. Whenever it WAS discussed in YM, it went like this: So don't have sex before marriage, don't watch porn, and don't masturbate. Followed by a sermon on why those things are so horrible and how everyone who does them is basically satans offspring. At the very end of the class, there would always be the single sentence "But of course you can always repent" It wasn't until I was in a serious relationship for the first time, that my bishop and my parents actually talked about the Law of Chastity in-depth and about how to stay away from breaking it. But well, guess what! It was already too late.
My point is that the VAST majority of youth growing up right now WILL break the Law of Chastity to some extent at some point. Its the truth, whether you like it or not. Most boys (I don't feel like I can speak for girls here) will watch porn at some point and masturbate. Most youth in their first actual relationship won't be cautious enough and do something they shouldn't. That's what my experience was as well as my friends and my mission companions. It's not great but its reality.
So what's the problem? We all make mistakes and we can all repent. The problem is that the way the law of chastity was taught in my youth made it sound like basically no one ever broke it. So when I did break it, I thought I was one of very very few bad apples who fail to keep this oh so easy commandment, which made is SO SO much harder talking to my bishop and later mission president about it. It wasn't until after I had talked to them that I found out how many youth and young adults really struggle with it and that I am not alone with this at all. That knowledge made talking about my struggles and past mistakes incredibly easier.
TLDR: We need to tell youth that it is normal to struggle with aspects of the Law of Chastity while growing up. Instead of pounding down on how bad it is to break the LoC, we should focus on preventious steps to take and the process of repentance and getting back on the path. No idea if anyone will read this sermon but if you did, I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.
submitted by Gideon770 to latterdaysaints [link] [comments]

2020.09.29 17:27 JMichelleK A year (and a day) since baptism

Tldr at the end
Hey everyone, I know this subreddit has a lot of investigators who watch and with every member a missionary I figured I should tell me story. I've told bits of my conversion story in various posts and comments, but I feel like it might be able to help other investigators by seeing they are not alone and help people who go out with missionaries to teach see that not every investigator is an easy 1 month to baptism.
I started attending church when I was 16. I was raised atheist and lied about where I was going for the first 6 months. I finally told my parents and they were confused why I was going to church, they don't hate the lds church any more then they do any other church, but they were often passive aggressive. I dated my friend who I was going with for a few months until he went off to byu. That relationship didn't end well, but that was my fault. I didn't take missionary lessons for my first year because they wouldn't teach me without my parents permission because I was under age, and I never dared ask my parents.
When the ward got pink washed I was 17.5. The sisters taught me once or twice. I never really believed in church, I just enjoyed being with my friends. April my senior year I quit going, I had a school trip, then it was mothers day, then I got a job and started working Sundays. So I stopped attending, we had a senior Sunday thing where we invited a teacher and recognised the wards seniors. I didn't really want to go, but the young women's president was relentless that I did. (I feel it good to add she knew I wasn't a member. My friends and most of my teachers knew I wasn't a member, other members in the ward though thought I was because I attended so regularly).
So at senior Sunday I went, it was fairly fun and the missionaries were there so I learned who they were, we were back to elders. I got another job and turned 18 during the summer. My other job was at a location the missionaries came about once a week. I was working one day and they came in, one of them was still one I met in May. While they were learning some info the one who knew me came over and talked with me. He remembered me and asked where I had been and such. It felt really good to be missed, so after talking to my boss from job 1 I stopped working Sundays and started attending again. After a couple weeks I started taking lessons from them.
At lesson 1 they tried to get me to commit to baptism, after some pushback I agreed to the second Saturday I would be off at college. We had a handful of lessons and I moved off to college. They continued teaching me online, but then transfers happened and I did not get along with the new elder. I felt like he was always belittling me, so I canceled the baptism. They got tired of teaching someone who wouldn't get baptised (I dont blame them) and so they tossed me over to the missionaries in which I was now in the area of being off at school.
A few weeks prior to that I decided to go to church, but I dont have a car at college. And being in a location far outside Utah the nearest ward to me is a 20 minutes drive...or a 3 hour walk. So I got up at 5 and left my dorm about 5:45 with a change of clothes in my bag and a map in my hand. I was honestly excited and having a good time. Until the police picked me up at about 7. Someone called the police because they thought I was a runaway. After providing id and an explanation the cop drove me the rest of the way and told me to have a friend drive me back.
So fast forward and I am meeting with the missionaries from the ward I walked to. They found a member who lived near by to give me a ride and I attended that ward for about 10 months. The missionaries would use me to get free food from members like hey y'all should have this investigator over and us too. I hated it, but at one of the houses they had another lady over and she lives near my university as well. She has a son who goes to the ysa branch (I had been once before). She and I talked and she started having her son give me rides to FHE and he would offer to take me to institute and church at the YSA, but I stuck with the home ward. (This occurred in January 2019)
From January to April the missionaries would call me about 5 days a week for anywhere between 1-3 hours. This was a lot for me to deal with and I was taking 19 hours at school at the same time. When one of the missionaries transferred at the end of March and the frequent lessons continued I tried to stop. They pushed back and it made me uncomfortable. This was about conference time when they highlight personal revolution and so I told the missionaries you have done your job and taught me everything, now I just have to decide for myself and I dont want to meet any more. They still tried to get me to meet with them and it made me uncomfortable.
So I being the mature adult I am quit attending my family ward and started attending the YSA. Apparently there was some fallout the missionaries received from the ward mission leader but I couldn't take it. After a few weeks I agreed to have lessons but only once a week for a max of an hour.
When school ended and I went home I continued to attend the YSA. I went out with a couple of guys in the YSA since I started attending, and had a couple more ask, but being a non member I felt bad going out with them because most of them didnt know.
I moved back to school in August 2019 and although I had a car I continued riding with the one guy. He started asking when I was going walking so he could walk with me. We went to a couple of game nights at our friends house and in early September he asked me to be his girlfriend, even knowing I was a non member. By this point I was 19 and had been attending for 2.5 years, I realized I have learned all I can but if I had the gift of the holy ghost I might be able to progress. So I decided I wanted to get baptized.
Problem, I dont have faith. And I wanted to get baptized in the family ward near where I go to school because they had elders and the ysa had sisters and sisters really got on my nerves by always hugging me and saying how awesome I am and stuff like that. However the elders were like district leaders or zone leaders or something like that, which meant the APs had to interview me. But the APs were 3 hours away and they didn't think I was worth wasting the miles on because I didnt have faith. (That one made me salty, I had actually known one of them though, never taught me, but I had met him a couple times).
So this meant if I wanted to get baptized I had to be interviewed by the mission president. Now that was really anxiety inducing for me. So we set up a date for me, my boyfriend, and the elders to all go up to the mission home so I could be interviewed. We went and the guy didnt ask me any questions, I guess the missionaries had told him about me and my story, so he just talked to me. I don't think I said more then a couple sentences the whole time. He would say things like now if you didn't have faith why would you try and walk to church and stuff like that. At the end he said I think you have faith,so how about we get you baptized.
We got a date set for the Saturday a week before conference. My then boyfriend (now fiance) baptized me. The branch president from the YSA came along with a few of my friends from each of the wards and branches I had attended. The missionaries hadnt talked to me at all the week of my baptism. Which heads up to future missionaries, don't do that! I was lucky I thought to bring a towel and my boyfriend told me to bring a change of underwear.
So fast forward to now. What has changed?
Well I got engaged last December and we are hoping to get married in June. I am both the linger longer coordinator and relief society assistant Secretary in my YSA (not that I have done either of those for over 6 months now). I did baptisms for the dead once, that recommend was another where I gave my answer and the branch president interpreted it how he thought I was. I still have many doubts and I don't have faith, but I also don't feel the spirit either. My fiance is hopeful things will get better after we are married, because I will be out of my parents house during breaks from school. My family doesnt know I joined, but they are still just passive aggressive about religion and the lds church. They ask me questions like "have you even seen your fiance's back before I know you went swimming but doesn't he have to wear his Mormon underwear all the time?" And stuff like that.
I read my scriptures daily, but I havent taken the sacrament in 6 months. Some days are harder then others, some things members of the church say and do really aggregate me and make me regret being in the same religion. But I love my fiance and trust him. This church has helped him so much and I hope that when we are married I will be better at feeling the spirit and seeing God's hand in my life.
Tldr: Investigated for 2.5 years, met with infinitely many missionaries, tried walking to church and got picked up by police, fought with the missionaries, was mature and ran away from my problems, got a boyfriend, got baptized with hopes of the spirit helping me, got engaged, still dont really feel the spirit but am hopeful things will improve when I get married
submitted by JMichelleK to latterdaysaints [link] [comments]

2020.09.29 17:00 Joyffree When Wishes Bleed Sales Blitz

When Wishes Bleed Sales Blitz
Title: When Wishes Bleed
Author: Casey L. Bond
Genre: YA Fantasy
Editor: Stacy Sanford/ The Girl with the Red Pen
Cover Designer: Melissa Stevens/ The Illustrated Author Design Services
Publication Date: November 1st, 2019
Hosted by: Lady Amber’s PR

One Prince. One Witch. One Fate.

The upheaval in my life began the moment a prince stumbled into my house and asked me to read his fortune. Any other night, I might have made an excuse to get him to leave, but this was no normal visit. My fingers prickled to touch him. So, I granted his request by handing him a single wishbone. When he snapped it, the wish … bled.

Hearing me suck in a shocked breath, he asked what it meant. Such an ominous omen could only mean one thing: his death was imminent. Fate revealed that he wouldn’t die of natural causes. Someone wanted him dead. Stunned by the revelation, the man I now knew as Prince Tauren disappeared into a night I feared he wouldn’t survive. The following day, I received an invitation to the castle. While it seemed the prince believed I could intervene and uncover who was plotting his death, his motives didn’t stop there. I was being summoned to join twelve other women in vying for the opportunity to be his wife and future queen.

Going could mean jeopardizing my plans to reclaim my heritage and resurrect the House of Fate. But staying would guarantee Tauren’s death, and the blood of his wish would be on my hands.

Book Links:

Book Trailer:

Author Bio:
Casey Bond lives in West Virginia with her husband and their two beautiful daughters. She likes goats and yoga, but hasn't tried goat yoga because the family goat is so big he might break her back. Seriously, he's the size of a pony. Her favorite books are the ones that contain magical worlds and flawed characters she would want to hang out with. Most days of the week, she writes young adult fantasy books, letting her imaginary friends spill onto the blank page.

Casey is the award-winning author of When Wishes Bleed, the Frenzy series, and fairy tale retellings such as Riches to Rags, Savage Beauty, Unlocked and Brutal Curse. Learn more about her work at

Author Links:

#OnSale #YA #Fantasy #CaseyLBond #whenwishesbleed
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2020.09.29 16:54 No_Explanation_8090 Friend [24 M] is furious at me [25 M] for hooking up with his younger sister [19 F] ?

I tried to explain this as objectively as I can.
I’m friends with this guy named Sam. We're not really close friends but one of my good friends became close friends with him. We all live in the same apartment complex and are around the same age (mid 20s) so we hang out a lot. His younger sister Nina (she's 19), a college student, recently moved in with him after their mom died. He told us we were not allowed to mess around with her under any circumstances. Their dad died when they were super young and now that they are kind of orphans, he really puts on this over protective big brothefather figure role. Also apparently their family were religious muslims but neither of them seem to be practicing but it seems to shape his view on girls and sex.
So it’s not like I intentionally went out of my way to start something with Nina to piss him off but we started hanging out because she was interested in my field of career and then we started hooking up about 3 months ago. She’s a full grown adult so I didn’t feel guilty at all about it but we tried to keep it secret because neither of us wanted to deal with Sam. I made it clear to her from the beginning that I was not interested in a relationship and it was just sex and that we weren’t exclusive. In the past month or so it was becoming obvious Nina was becoming too attached and wanted more from the relationship than I could give her. I’ve been meaning to break things off but hadn’t gotten around to it yet.
About a week ago Sam found out about us because Nina had my t shirt and confronted her about it. She said that we were dating and that we were “in love.” I really have no idea why she said this. He then confronts me and said that if we were serious about each other he wasn’t against us being together because he wants his sister to be happy but it has to be in the open and not sneaking around. So I’m not going to trap myself in a relationship just because a girl has a protective brother so I was honest and told him it wasn’t serious and we definitely were not in a relationship and were just hooking up.
He becomes furious and literally tries to fight me. He then paints a picture of me as an asshole who took advantage of his grieving baby sister to all of our mutual friends. Most of them are taking his side and said that I was out of line. I really don’t think I did anything wrong and I think Nina manipulated the situation to make me look bad but it seems all our mutual friends are cold towards me now.
What should I do? Am I really in the wrong?
submitted by No_Explanation_8090 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.29 16:43 i_regret_thinking Maybe I (22F) should break with my boyfriend (27M)

We have been together for 5 years (you heard it right: he was 22 and I was 17 when we started dating) and at the time I fell in love with him being knowledgable and mature compared to my peers. Now I'm the 22 years old and he looks extremely immature to me, in certain things. I'm scared to break up because after 5 years together, my parents bought us a home and we are expected to go there in a few months to live on our own, but I wouldn't be able financially to take care of this home alone (even if I honestly feel we won't be able to take care of it together since he was expected to go to work full time and to graduate... But he keeps postponing. I was probably dumb to rely on him for months and not thinking about that 0.0001% of chance to fail, that in his case is always 99.9%) and I feel pressured into this relationship for this reason. However, if I find out that we can find a solution for the home, I think I'm done with him.
Let me just say that he is still knowledgeable and I admire his vast culture. He still loves me and takes care of me by always cooking when we are together (he loves to do it, I'm not forcing him into something) and always making sure I take my pills and other random act of everyday kindness. He is the perfect partner and we are extremely compatible: the same hobbies, same interests... The problem is that when major events occur, he is really immature. It would be a perfect relationship if we were young, but as adults we have to be responsible too. Here are some examples (you can skip them if you trust me, but please read after the list):
  1. He is 27 and still hasn't finished his Master's degree. He literally has to write his thesis and THAT'S IT. He has the highest GPA possible and no more exams to take. One years passed and he did... Nothing. He was late for his Bachelor's too due to "stress" (over what? I don't know) and poor work ethic because he wasted time doing nothing. He can't think or do something he doesn't feel like doing, even if it's important. He says he feels stressed and we are also going to check if he is on the autistic spectrum to see if it's due to burnouts or it's just his nature (and if it turns out he is not autistic but just lazy, I would probably be upset for his behaviour since in these months he wants everyone to treat him like an autistic person). However, I don't really feel like judging him because he lives in a troubled family where his mother is abusive, her sister is aggressive, his dad is suicidal and his grandfather was bipolar. Growing in such a messy environment will lead to some problem for sure and I understand that he may need more time to do things. It's ok, but it's a red flag to me the fact that I always have to ask him how the Master's is going and if he did something because otherwise, I fear he won't be autonomous.
  2. We had a conversation recently and he told me that the reason why his mother always tells him that he smells bad (I can't smell anything at all, it's like I have no nose and I wouldn't be able to tell myself) it's because he just does a shower maybe once a week and that's it. I take a shower every 3 days, I wash my armpits every day, my private parts two or more times a day. I had no idea. He told me that having a daily hygiene routine "stresses him" and when I told him that hygiene is not up to discussion, he was upset because I couldn't understand his stress.
  3. I have to beg him to go to the doctor and to do a blood exam every year because otherwise he won't do it. He also doesn't eat fruits and vegetables so I was really scared for his health. He went to the doctor this year after 4 years of me begging. It happened two times that he had a fungal infection on his arm and I had to notice it and to bring him to at least a Pharmacy to get some medication before it got worse. He wouldn't have done it alone. He didn't even know what his blood type was.
  4. Once we were working (we work together... I actually told him to try to apply for my same job position after I got hired because he was 26, no work experience and nothing to lose) and a colleague asked him to bring some keys at a certain hour. Not only he FORGOT completely what he had to do, but tried to make me meet with the colleague instead of him because he was scared of the consequences. Speaking of job, while I'm actively trying to find another one, he is not doing anything. He is just choosy and won't even send his cv because "they require to talk to people and I'm autistic and I can't do that" (as I said, we don't know if he is autistic yet, and even if he was, he would be a high functioning one and he needs to find out how to cope in the same way I perfectly cope with my dyslexia/dyscalculia). I'm going crazy because he is at home reading all day long, not working at his thesis and neither searching for job opportunities.
  5. He just can't take care of deadlines. He wanted so bad to enter into a PhD programme and he couldn't do it because... He completely fucked up with deadlines. C'mon. How irresponsible can you be to fuck this up in such a dumb way??
  6. He always told me he wanted kids. I want no kids. At all. He recently told me he was ok with that and we are also considering vasectomy (which is easier and safer than a tube ligation). I fear I'm forcing him into something he does not fully realize and I fear he is doing it only because he doesn't want to use condoms (too expensive to buy every time and I actually feel pain with them) and I can't take hormonal contraceptive because I have Crohn's and I can't have the spiral installed because my uterus has a weird shape. I don't want him to do something to his body if he is not fully aware, but he the fact that I doubt he is mature enough for this when he is 27 is worrying, right?
To further complicate things, he has no friends and I fear he will be alone, with not enough money to be independent. I feel shitty because he really treats me like a princess and there is the suspect that he is somewhere in the autistic spectrum, but his immaturity is starting to worry me and I don't know what to do.
Tl;dr: is immaturity a sufficient reason to break up with an otherwise perfect and loving partner?
submitted by i_regret_thinking to relationships [link] [comments]

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